Back To Basics

Becoming a mother at 19 year old, was certainly unplanned, but I can't say that the structural parental foundation I subconsciously set, has changed much over the 8 year period in becoming a mother two more time. I was young, yes… dismissive to my instinctual obligated responsibility, no…

This is what I know about the kind of parent I want to be… I feel it's my goal to teach my children to learn genuine appreciation for the smallest of acts. To teach between right and wrong, make clear what is good and point out the bad, while acknowledging that there is much grey in it all. Other's opinions need to be respected, especially when they are the furthest from your own. People are people, love is love, and kindness is key to the understanding and acceptance of all things different. Playtime is more fun, when it rewards hard work and mistakes are worth making if lessons are learned from them.



This is what I didn't expect about achieving the kind of parent I want to be.. The time spent on the repetitive bullets of the simplest of expected behavior. Seemingly pointless reminders to prompted manners, for age appropriate voices to be used, and when being asked a question, not to present it in a whining manner as if I've already said no.  Relentless back talking, tiresome pessimism, and an over all grass is always greener attitude.

I've prepared myself far in advance for the sex talk, biological father talk, sometimes life just sucks talk… I'm making it a habit to answer questions as directly as they are asked, while throwing in little fluff, or  making big deals about life's bigger challenges. I underestimated my knee jerk response of loosing my red headed temper on being asked 'why' in a challenging way, or becoming overly sarcastic when deliberate corners are cut to the easiest of tasks asked. In the last 8 years, I never once gave any thought to having to purposely emphasize the points in optimism, or constantly counter a seemingly instinctual complaint response.



I've been so focused on the bigger picture, the smaller of detail have some how been overlooked, and I would be lying if I said, it didn't catch me off guard, set me back, and cause me to refocus on my approach to the beauty of the outcome.

Like, 8 years ago, when I felt overwhelmed, insecure, and valuable in my approach to the task of Motherhood at hand, I feel comfortable knowing the processing needs to stop, second guessing forgotten, parenting books tossed aside, friends as soundboard appreciated and time for instincts relied on...