This summer I have been pulled to the trenches in the constant battle of fairness.
I'm sure it's more of a trickle effect in learned behavior, but it's felt like with one fell swoop all three have found themselves under the socially misguided impression that all that is fair, is doled out evenly, across the board.
It's actually rather appropriate timing for my kids to be casting this behavior, because I've also been maneuvering though some of the exact same projections on an adult level.
Now that I'm writing this, I am more than likely hyper aware of this attitude in my kids, because of my frustrations with those of an outside sources. Regardless, I've allowed myself to easily shut the complaints down as soon as they start, with the cut of bud response, "life isn't fair".
As effective of a retort as this is in getting them to turn on their heals and take their frustrated little selves else where, it doesn't really address the matter at hand.
No, life isn't fair... the statement alone does nothing but allow excuses to be made and in our case, to throw blame to the others we feel have an advantage on us... whether this actually be the true or not.
As true as that statement may be.... it also brings a sense of righteous wronged without the justification of retained reasoning.
Just the other day, the battle cry of things being 'unfair' was at its peak... the repetitiveness literally was driving my patience short and my temper long... I was mentally dwelling on things I couldn't control in others and right then I realized the equally repetitive dismissive response from me of "life's! not! fair!" truly was very unfair to them.
Stepping back a minutes, I realized this wasn't something I felt was healthy to encourage within those I'm responsible for positively guiding into this world. In fact, I was only supporting their path of blameless.
So I'm slowing it down. Helping them work it out, while helping myself work it out too.
Life's not fair, but I'm not sure when we even feel under the impression that it was suppose to be.
I very well could be spinning my wheels in a false sense of progression, but maybe I'm not.
But, it's only fair for me to try. For them.