Thursday, April 9

Dear Blog, it's not you, it's me.

Hello there, strange space.
Being here right now, I feel a level of uncomfortableness.
I'm tentative and unsure.
Like bumping into a once close friend you can't remember exactly why you don't talk as much anymore, but have a lingering feeling the guilt lays mostly on you.

So I feel this awkward stammering of talk taking place right now... Where you politely ask me, "how've you been" and I politely answer "great! busy, but good!".... when really life's been filled with so much more than those four dismissive words and my whole being want to bust at the seams, verbally spewing all my hearts triumphs and trials.

One of those times where I talk too fast, jump topics too quickly, and hardly make much sense.
Purge without consequence and laugh within the comfort we once shared.

The last time I wrote here, I felt ready to process some of life's struggles and strengths, since then, life tore my heart apart the worst it ever has. Delaying it all.

But I'm making the initial effort now to get back to where we once were.

I feel like this is a very "it's not you, it's me" cliche post, but cut me some slack for trying would you.

So with all that being said, in a nut shell things really are good, busy, but good. I've been questioning my ability to be a mother, been working hard, playing harder, sleeping more, laughing often, crying less, struggling to find the balance and have fallen back on the ol' "fend for yourself" supper offerings a few too many times lately.

But we're good, happy, plugging away with the steady as we go approach and am looking forward to getting back together here again very soon.


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