Lately, I'm frequently being reminded that I'm actively participating in the world of being an adult.... adulting, if you will.
Has "adulting" always been a word that I'm just now becoming aware of because I've reached a certain point in my life that it applies? Like when you buy a new vehicle, magically that very same make and model is every.where you look. Or is this noun, verb turned to be something created within the generation of hashtags?
Regardless, this roll of adulting is proving to be a lot more involved than I imagined. It seems as though I've romanticized this whole experience based on the idea of being able to call the shots on important things such as bed times, having babies, picking which toilet paper brands, and my own limitless ice cream consumption.
Interestingly enough, it's turing out to be a little more detailed than that.
I guess it could be argued I've been in this roll for some time now. Recently though, there seems to have been a string of not-so-fun-events that have gone on, crossing a larger span of time than I would prefer, seriously though I've been chalking it up to something just needing a little time to correct itself.
But then the other day when I was talking to one of my friends and we were ping ponging some worries beyond the stresses of our day to day, of it dawned on me, this very well could just be a new part of life we're phasing into.
And if that's the case, it makes me wonder if the denseness of the last few year's experience is only because it's been the most consistent with 'harder emotions' than ever before. Like when a light turns on in a dark room, the brightness seems so severe at first, but you grow accustom to it's glow as you adjust to its presents.
Honestly, I feel very very hesitant to accept this as part of a norm on being an adult, so less simple, so more raw.
Does this also mean I'm rather foolish to think I'm anything but scratching the surface when it comes to what dealing with life as an adult consists of. Phasing into the more of it, can it really be easier to accept the unpleasant the more the unpleasant makes itself known? Is this the very thing people get jaded from? How the glass gets half empty? Where rainbows don't lead to pots of gold and leprechauns don't really live? When cynical takes root? Why people can sleep at night, without a second thought to the disgusting change of the green skittles to green apple flavor, instead of keeping them as the disliked, but tolerated lime?!?!?
"Clearly this is my panic talking and it certainly feels like a sad state of affairs if that is the case when it comes to participating in this newly ventured age of adulting. And who likes the state of sad? No one, that's who."
So now, I'm looking to foster a sense of relief in the attempt to counter and rally my natural instinct to have the majority of my days spent productively involved in a good time, all the time. Because turns out the specifics of adulting also involve loudly lip syncing to Janis Joplin during school drop off without regret regarding middle school child embarrassment, bonfires that are dangerously too large, legitimately needing a reason for business cards, attempts at cow tipping, and refusing to wear shoes for the simple fact being, I don't wanna, because I am an adult after all.