Thursday, May 24

Two Day Lagging

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Tonight, when I looked at the clock and saw that it was only 7:13, I thought I should go for a quick run. Typically, I'm one to exercise the "I should" thoughts into "just did" happenings, but tonight.. instead of lacing up my running shoes, I poured myself a glass of red wine.

Sadly, this was very liberating…

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5 days after Calvin's birthday party, I've hit that wall of exhaustion and have been lagging the last two days. I've been unable to get out of my own way, with the unfortunate pairing of little things not going accordingly.

My printer ink ran out, in a time I needed printer ink. I dropped a whole bowl of cereal, because I ran into the counter's corner. My mixer started streaming smoke, 1.7 minutes into plugging it is, with 13 orders to fill. I burnt my hand on the oven I couldn't remember why I even turned on. Feisty little Beatrice the Chicken got out and I stepped in dog crap while chasing after her {if I'm being honest, this really only made me lover her more}. I pushed Joey on the swing, only to get knocked in the head by her foot on the swing back.

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At the very least, I've felt as if I've been having some 'three-steps-back' kind of days. The amount of energy I've had to put into willing myself to turn the 'I should's into the 'just did's, is almost too embarrassing to admit.

Tonight, I'm nestling into the fact that right around the time I feel defeated by the day's end, my reset button is usually hit. My manic nature will prevail by morning, I'll throw extra balls into the mix to be juggled, and this is when life's next adventure starts to formulate. We're having friend for the weekend and I couldn't be any more excited to bury myself in the comforts of dedicating time to the ones we love.

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This morning, I woke up, telling myself tonight was an early to bed kind of night, now that it's 11:05 and I'm finally the only one awake in the house, I can feel the shifting of making the effort of 'I should's into the habits of' 'just did'… the mental lists have started and there's a certain giddy up to my hurry for night's end and tomorrow's start.

Sitting here, mindlessly list making, I've just realized the side door, to the chicken's coop, has been left open. The June bugs clicking against the opened window's screen is less than encouraging and for the 3rd night in a row, my fear of June bugs, will once again be faced as I brace myself for this unfortunately dart into the night.

Honestly, I couldn't be more thankful for that glass of wine now and I'm secretly wishing I could be ok with leaving this 'I should' as just that…. but I can't… June bugs here I come… eecks...

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Enjoy your three day weekend!

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Sunday, May 20

Four Years Old

This morning, our family woke up late… at 8:30 we were all still snuggled deep into the covers of our beds. As unusually as this occurrence is, it was welcomed and it was needed.

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Walking out of our bedroom I was faced with a sink, piled with dishes. Counters strewn with empty pizza boxes, a porcelain hand painted bear, burned out glow sticks, three quarters, a partially eaten carrot stick, and more half drank carpi-sun pouches than there were people here to drink them.

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Outside, marshmallow sticks rested against the cement side of the fire pit, three, with marshmallows still attached. The 10 chairs that surrounded the fire, had grown cold from the heat of the bodies that has occupied them just a handful of hours before.

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The lawn was peppered with the remains of a silly string fight and porch littered with random shoes, 2 bags of chips turned upside down, and the chair's cushions resting on top of the grill … For this self proclaimed love of all things organized gal, taking in all that there was involving that very scene, there was no dismissing the settling of stratification that came over me when standing amongst the chaos of it all.

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Yesterday we partied, we played, we celebrated Calvin turning 4.

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I can't say that I love the idea that he's four, but I guess I don't have it… and although there is nothing I can do to keep those birthdays from coming each year, the one thing I can do is harness all those resistant-to-baby-growing-feelings, and turn them into some kick ass party throwing energy… like 12-hour-long-party-throwing-energy…BAM!

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And even though I messaged a friend this morning, referencing a party planner hangover and how next time I wouldn't be so stressed out, making sure the smallest of details weren't forgotten, I know I will… because they are always so worth it.

And my now four year old, is.

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{For the rest of the Birthday Party pictures… you can check them out on facebook by clicking HERE}

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