Last week you turned 10 years old. The fact that it's taken me this long to be able to sit down and write you this letter, only shows how much I've been avoiding the process of wrapping my head around the very fact, that you're 10.
It's harder for me to believe I've been lucky enough to have you call me "Mumma" for 10 full years.
It's even harder for me to accept that those 10 years have gone by so quickly.
I look back at myself at 19 and I can't help but think how clueless I was to this whole thing.
To be honest, I can't help but think how clueless I still am.
There is so much I want for you. More than you will ever know, more than I can comprehend myself…even though I may not understand it, my heart screams it and if there is one thing I'm certain of in this life, when your heart speaks, you not only listen, but pursue.
This year's going to be a big one for you, I can feel it. Many of your questions will be purposefully asked. I don't hesitate to tell you truths, my fear stems from you becoming aware of life's realities…. this is where, I'm afraid, innocents starts to be lost.
I'm not ready for that part of you growing up.
I'm not ready for any part of you growing up.
As much as I want to slow these days, I love the baby you were, I love the boy you are, and the man you will be.
Your heart is so kind and your soul so gentle.
I couldn't have been luckier to be chosen for you.
Life answered the biggest questions, I didn't even know I was asking.
It's not just that you're the one who made me a Mumma, Wesley, you're the one who consistently forges the path, teaching me how to be a better one.
And though there are promised stumbles for us along our journey, just like we started, we'll continue to figuring this whole thing out together.
I love you always,