It happens more often than not, that my projected 'eventually', is realize to be my 'right now' reality, longer than I've been aware of my involvement, with an underwhelming amount of cognition given to present purposes.
Sometime, I also sit down to construct a post writting, and find that my opening line, sounds like one of those sentences you come across in your English books, you're obligated to read in high school, and you have to go back and read it slower to make sense of it, because some smart ass couldn't just write more than one sentence to explain their thoughts, in simpler terms, but wanted it's publisher to feel like it was getting it's money's worth, by compressing the same thought into one complicated sentence.
Other times, I write whole paragraphs, explaining my own justifications, for my own self annoyances… but I digress…
What I'm trying to say is this… More often than not, I find myself thinking about my someday's and they are already my reality and other times these reality are too often allowed to float on the underwhelming surface, rather than being recognizing in its entire. I always pictures myself to be the 'soccer mom', who's pressed for time with an overloaded amount of extra actives thrown on top of an already too busy schedule, and it wasn't until I was running the roads, with a backpack filled with snacks, a cooler full of juice, a glove for baseball, a mouth guards for karate, sunblock for babies, and tote full of toys, while zipping from a photo session to a school gymnasium, stuffing my face with the two and a half, forgotten peanut butter crackers, chugging a freshly sun brewed water, that it dawned on me… I am not only the 'soccer mom' I someday knew I would be, but I've been in this role for awhile now.
After I read the pregnancy tests were positive, I couldn't have want that baby any more than life itself, but it wasn't until 6 months in, did I realize the reality, that our family would now be one more. A full year after moving to Patten, did it hit me, the life we will be creating for our family, the one that will be looked back on in future reflection, will be done…. in Patten, Maine.
Most recently, I've woken up to the idea, 8 years later, that there is a hell of a lot more to this whole 'being a parent' thing. A whole lot a layers to this raising a responsibility respectful, social confident, society bettering child, in a big kind of way, more.
This weekend has my eyes wide open, to how little I've been giving thought to some things that need a whole lot of thought spent on them. Many levels in my responsibilities as a parent, then teaching appropriate places to urinate, why no one wants to see you pick your nose, and persistent and consistent follow through on teaching a baby, dog food is not ok to eat, but between the broken hearts, the 'big talk', and consequences of broken curfews.
With all that said, I feel very comfortable with the idea that I've given you enough grounds to process your judgement towards me, while I process this new revolution for myself….until then, my friends.
Happy 10,000 page views!!