There have been a few hefty unexpected punches thrown my way lately, causing me to stagger in my stride.
My defense to this, has been no different than any time before. Think, process, pull from, pick through, dissect, look at, learn from, grow, and now, brace my stance, wide, and ready for next time, because one thing I've learned, there will certainly be a next time.
My philosophies of positivity has been challenged, and my natural kick-ass and take names, instinct rose to the top. I was ready to drop down, ground level and belly crawl in the trenches of that lower level, while flipping off the high road I so badly didn't want to take. After a few vent sessions to my more supportive allies, like every time before, I took that upper path, although this time around, I spent more time refining, more time evaluating, more time concreting, what I already knew, about the continued cycle of projected insecurities that get directed my way.
My conclusion as always …. It is, what it is.
Too much time has been wasted, too much energy consumed, and like always, too much counting on me, to show that the higher road, is the least tempting, yet most self rewarding…
I must say, once the first few steps on the inclined ground were made, my stride was easily found and I was reminded of all the beautiful views this path has to offer, and the selfish contentment of knowing, I did not break. Once again, I did not break.
Truthfully, I would much rather waste time, soaking in a hot bath, with a winter chilled glass of wine, and my always funny, Chelsea Handler book, after spending all my energy jumping on beds with the kids, figuring out how Calvin can scale the counters and be four wrapper deep in the out of reach candy, in the time it takes me to change a diaper. Chasing little toes, while vacuuming in my heels, drinking up Joey's belly giggle with a Sponge Bob Mac & Cheese lunch, and laughing so hard I cry, at Wesley's quick wit and ever developing dry sense of humor.
My core strengthened, and focus sharpened.
It is, what it is.
And my this is what I love it to be…
Though something the high road, feels more like a curse for the eternally optimistic...