I think using the word 'scattered' in a understatement to describe how my focus is right now… a major understatement. I don't even know why. I do have a lot going on, but it's one of those this has started, while that needs to get done, but not before I finish over here, because then I can't get done what I need to for over there.
Today, has felt like a big ol' game of Twister, but without having my feet secured on two solid colors for a solid bracing for whatever will come next. I've got all ten fingers and toes, spread across the board, touching just enough to be committed to that color, while try to figure out if the red circle will be content with a left elbow long enough, until my right hand has time to get to it.
At one point today, I was walking in circles, literally. Anxious to utilize Josephine's nap time to the best of my ability, I walked to the table to finish some work, only to think about the laundry that needed to be changed over, distracted by the dishes that were forgotten from breakfast, redirected by the thought of the bills that would only take me a minute to pay, remembering the snack Calvin asked me about 15 minutes ago, while spotting the kids spring clothes, I had hauled up from downstairs and strewn all over their bed room floor. All the while, the lunch hour had come and gone unnoticed, mirrors sprayed, then forgotten, vacuumed pulled out, but unused, and a flicker of something shinny always catching my eye, making me loose my concentration. I had e-mails to return, phone calls to make, and a stirring baby.
I couldn't even collect my thought enough to string together coherent sentences to try to explain my manic state of mind. There was no rational processing going on today. I couldn't justify why exactly I had that 11th hour feel, when it came to getting everything done, because no deadline hovered. I do believe I dramatically stated that today I had "937343 things I have to do before I die"…
And that is the reality of it. Today's hurry had no rhyme or reason, it was just one of the frantic days I almost enjoy the scatter of, imagining all I could get DONE, if only I were able to focus. One of those days that takes it's turn in the rotation, countering the days of lazy, peaceful, or all together productive.
Everyone has a day that they end with an exhausted body and manic mind…..right?
And because it is one of those days, where my thoughts are far from slowing down, despite the fact today as turned into tomorrow, here are a few pictures of some beautiful little ladies, I was lucky enough to get a visit from this past weekend.