Friday, March 18

Leveling Off

Finding balance in the everyday is a consistent struggle for me.  That the daily shifting of work vs. fun, responsibility vs. unaccountability, selflessness vs. selfishness, is a matter of trial and error which will eventually result in a consistent leveling.

I love the feeling of the teeter in life. When I'm swiftly hoisted off the ground by the totter, my feet frantically swinging freely in the air. White knuckling, my hand's grip to support the forward tilting of adrenaline, making my belly feel empty, sun shines bright on all things below and my head spins with it's drunk on life buzz. Yet, as much as I want to be in the teeter, my mind is always aware of the tottered. The grounding level of tottered isn't bad, and it is good to have my feet planted, the authenticity of my core is rooted in it. I'm a rooted kind of girl, but the air's current still lingers with that throwing caution to the wind feel, with a touch of an irresponsible breeze, but when on the ground, I wished I would have appreciated my time in the air more.

 I want to be unaccountable in the most dependable way, selflessly selfish, and softly strong. I want the teeter's feel, with the totter's grounding. I want to be fully present in each, without the distraction of the other.

The effort, in the trial and error, is worth it. The work will most certainly be worth the reward, when I find that balance, to hover nicely above the surface with the excitement of my feet lifted in the air, but the security of a quick settle on the ground.
Fully present in each, work and play.

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